Posted tagged ‘success’

Turn a failure into a success.

October 7, 2013

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“You might never fail on the scale I did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” – JK Rowling

Penniless, recently divorced, and raising a child on her own, JK Rowling wrote her first novel using an old manual typewriter and finished it in year 1995. The manuscript was submitted to 12 publishing companies and was rejected. Fortunately, Barry Cunningham from Bloomsbury agreed to publish it but advised Rowling to get a day job because ‘there’s no money in children’s book’. In 1997, Rowling received an £8000 grant from the Scottish Arts Council so she could continue writing. That novel was entitled “Harry Potter” which has sold more than 400 million copies worldwide and has gained international recognition and multiple awards. The last four Harry Potter books have set records as the fastest-selling books in history.

What if Rowling gave up after the first, second, fourth or tenth rejection? She wouldn’t have gained billions, and we wouldn’t have read one of the best novels there are. Rowling failed so many times. But still she succeeded.

Things we can learn from failure

Looking at the bright side of failure is one way to bounce back after being knocked down. It can help restore our self-belief and counter self-criticisms that make failure much harder to bear. But the question is – is there really something good about failing?  If yes, what is it then? Surprisingly, failure teaches us many things about life and resilience.

It spurs humility.

Humility is vital for success. It is something that many people admire about truly successful individuals. Humility is a very attractive quality. It means staying confident and poised without being boastful and arrogant to others. Failure teaches us the art of humility because it allows us to appreciate every single victory or accomplishment as they come.

It opens more opportunities.

Many people are afraid to go out of their comfort zone because they are afraid of failure. So they choose to narrow their lives by sticking to what they had been doing. But taking risks is essential to achieving success. It takes courage to take risks – and we can all develop it through failures.

It makes us wiser.

They say older people are wiser. And that’s not simply because of their experiences, but also of the failures they have gone through in life. Failure helps you discover more about yourself, such as your strengths and weaknesses. It also helps you correct your mistakes. For instance, arriving late to work because you failed to catch the first bus teaches you to wake up early next time. Failing to pass the exam teaches you to study harder. Failing to get the job teaches you to work harder and improve your credentials. Failing to get your investment back teaches you better ways to improve your business.

It brings us courage.

The more we fail, the more courageous we become. The more resilient we become. Failure strengthens our resilience – a trait that is very important to succeed in life. Resilience is the ability to deal with and bounce back from any forms of adversity, may it be related to work, family, relationship, money, etc. Courage helps us survive life’s difficulties, increasing our chances of success.

If you’re going through the painful process of moving on from failure, knowing these things will make you feel better. In life, people are rewarded and praised for their victory. But the truth is – we can learn more from failure than success.

I’d love to hear your comments,

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
greymatterz.co.uk

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Be successful – Here’s how!

October 7, 2013

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Set smaller goals and achieve them.

Sometimes, big goals can be overwhelming. And when you can’t reach them, you become much less confident. One trick to increase your confidence is to set small, achievable goals. It really feels good every time you are able to achieve something – that gives you a sense of accomplishment, something you will also experience when you achieve big goals. So try breaking down a big dream into smaller ones and focus on them one at a time. This doesn’t only make you more confident but also makes your journey to success less stressful.

Be kinder to yourself.

Pamper yourself by buying a new pair of shoes or a new dress, or getting a two-hour massage at the spa. When you feel good about yourself, you will feel better in all other things. Treat yourself like you would treat a very good friend.

Be thankful.

All humans are hardwired to improve something. Even the richest people on earth feel that something is still missing. That’s part of being human. We are in constant chase of so many things. Once we have achieved our present goals, we will sure create another one. And the list goes on.

But being too focused on your goals could have a negative impact on your confidence levels. As mentioned, having a sense of accomplishment increases our self-esteem. But how could you experience it if you lack appreciation for what you currently have?

Before going to bed, think about the things that made you happy today as well as the goals you have completed (e.g. finishing work on time, cleaning a room, completing a to-do list, etc) and write them down perhaps. Focusing on what you’ve already achieved strengthens your drive to reach your long-term goals and achieve success despite the challenges you are facing.

Reduce your worrying.

Too often, we put a lot of time and attention thinking about all the ‘what-ifs’ we have in life. What if they don’t like my product? What if I fail in the exam? What if I don’t get promoted? What if – fill in the blank. But here’s the thing. Every day, you only have a certain amount of energy to spend. Instead of wasting it on worrying, why not use it to advance your career, improve your performance, learn about new stuff, and then meet your goals?

Find an inspiration.

Look for someone who has become successful in the career path you are taking and determine the qualities he or she has that you still don’t have. Learn about their good practices, skills and traits that have made them successful. Also research about the failures they have gone through and how they were able to overcome them.

Disarm those critical voices inside you.

Tell your inner critical self to ‘shut up’. If you can’t, just let it speak in a very minimal tone. Imagine a volume control in your brain and reduce it to the lowest level until you couldn’t even understand what those negative internal voices are saying. You can also overthrow those critical voices by filling your mind with positive thoughts.

Optimism has a large role to play in increasing your confidence and achieving success.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

One common habit of individuals who have poor self-esteem is that they keep on comparing themselves with other people – which is not right because everyone of us is uniquely special. Often, comparisons are unfair because you don’t know as much as you think you do about these people. You may think its better, but in reality, it could be 100 times worse.

Lastly, be willing to take risks.

Remember, you miss 100% of the opportunities you never go for. Don’t be afraid to fail or commit mistakes. No person has ever made it to success without experiencing failure even once in their life. You have God-given talents and abilities. Use them to achieve success.

 

Let me know how you go.

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
http://www.greymatterz.co.uk

Overcoming the Fear of Failure

April 16, 2013

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Eliminating fear of failure is something you cannot do overnight. It takes time and sheer determination. So to help you out, here’s a list of what you should do:

1.   Identify the root cause of your fear.
Was there a time in your life that people laughed at you because you failed? Were your parents too protective that they don’t want you to try new things and commit mistakes? If you are going to remember those events or difficult situations as if you are not a part of it, you will feel that it has nothing to do with you really. After all, past is past. You can’t change it. But you have full control of your future!

2.   Make it simple.
The more you simplify things, say your work or studies, the easier they become. And when you find a task easy, the more chances you’ll succeed on it.

3.   Understand that failure is inevitable.
Even the best leaders in the world have gone to several episodes of failure. Failing is as natural as breathing. Being fearful about it will only increase your failures in life.

4.   Failure is equivalent to success.
The best thing about failure is that it provides us an avenue to strive harder and do better. It gives us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and prevent the same mistakes from happening again.

5.   Failure is only temporary.
While lamenting on the cruelty of failure, it may feel like the pain is not going to fade away. But just like any other difficulty in life, it shall pass and the pain will subside (whether you want it or not).

6.   Free your mind from negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts are like steel plates that are placed in your head. Imagine how heavy they are! Negative thoughts, due to the discomfort they bring, can affect how you handle thoughts and emotions, a fact that makes you more vulnerable to failures.

7.    Failure is not a bad thing.
Failure may bring a big buzz in your ear but it isn’t that bad as you think. As mentioned, failing gives you an opportunity to expand your horizon and do better next time!

8.    Face your fears! Act on it.
Failure to learn from a failure results to bigger failures. You’ve got to give any challenge your best shot.

9.    Focus on the now.
If you worry a lot of about failing, you will never have a chance to enjoy your life at the very  moment.

10.  Improve your skills.
One way to reduce the risk of failing is to constantly upgrade your skills and expand your  knowledge. The more prepared you are, the more likely you will succeed.

To sum it all up – while it’s true that failure often makes us feel troubled, it is an inevitable phenomenon that is designed to make us stronger and better.

Fear of failure only encourages failure itself so there’s really no point to be afraid at all. And although eliminating fear of failure can be a tough roller coaster ride, there are some things you can do to overcome it.

From identifying the root cause, simplifying things and accepting that failure is normal, to changing your perspective, facing your fears, focusing on the ‘present’ and constantly improving yourself – you can defeat your fear of failure and get your way to success.

Shoot for the stars…

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist

http://www.greymatterz.co.uk