Posted tagged ‘richard scott’

Find out how to create optimism!

December 23, 2013

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Everyone experiences challenges and difficulties in life which result to anger, frustration, disappointments, and the like. Sometimes we can’t avoid negative experiences. But despite hardships, happy individuals seem to get through them easily and bounce back to their happy and healthy life. Whilst it is not possible to avoid pessimism completely, here’s why we should all strive hard to inject optimism in our everyday life.

The Hidden Wonders of Optimism

Optimism has long been linked to low stress levels, whereas pessimism is known to boost the levels of stress hormones in the bloodstream, resulting to poorer immunity and increased risk of health problems. But in what other ways does optimism promote good health?

Mounting evidence suggests that keeping a positive view of life could help people recover faster from surgery and effectively cope with serious diseases like cancer, heart disease, and AIDS.

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published a study showing law students who were optimistic at the beginning of the school year had better functioning immune cells than their worried peers by the middle of the first semester.

Optimism also appears to play a crucial role in helping people cope with the challenges and frustrations, even failures that they experience in life.

The surprising thing is, these difficulties are also necessary for one to cultivate positivity. According to research, kids who are protected from failure and adversity are less likely to develop optimism. It’s because when these children make mistakes and learn from them, they develop the resilience needed to overcome the challenges that likely lie ahead.

How to Become More Optimistic

Being optimistic doesn’t mean we should all interpret each and every calamity as a blessing. It simply means that when calamity does strike, we don’t easily give in; rather, we try to learn from it.

And don’t worry if you find it hard to see the glass half full.  There are several ways to cultivate the ‘positive thinker’ in you.

One way is to recognise that your grief and pain, no matter how real and deep they are, are only part of the bigger picture. And that picture also has positive aspects – success, happiness, pleasure, etc. Many people who have developed serious illnesses are still able to find goodness in the painful experiences they have gone through.

For instance, some people who have suffered from life-threatening or incapacitating disease are able to value each day, appreciate the moment, spend more time doing things they are passionate about, inspire others, and get their priorities straight.

Another great strategy to develop optimism is to practice gratefulness. By recognising your strengths, as well as the positive experiences you had, no matter how small they are, you can teach yourself to become optimistic. Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or you are born ‘loser’.

This assumption has no logical or scientific basis anyway.  Furthermore, understand that the past does not equal the future. You may have gone through difficult experiences in the past. But that doesn’t mean that the same events will happen now.

You can also practise positive affirmations. For example, write down at least three statements about what you want to change in your perspectives (e.g. “Anything is possible”, “I can live my life the way I choose to”, “Never say die!”). Put them in places where you can see them every day, such as your computer monitor (you can probably make a desktop background containing these affirmations), on your bathroom mirror, on your door, etc.

You may not be able to change the circumstances in your life today, but you can change your attitude towards them. If you need help, talk to a health professional to know what methods can help you. Hypnotherapy has been shown to rapidly help people develop a more positive outlook in life.

As always I welcome your thoughts and comments.

regards

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist
greymatterz.co.uk

Part of the Core Health Centre

Follow me @RichGreymatterz or
www.facebook.com/greymatterzhypnotherapy

Is your child suffering from Stress & Anxiety?

February 27, 2013

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Children experience various forms of anxiety and stress from the moment they are born?

Sometimes, it is easy to spot whether a child is anxious by their crying and clinging behaviour. But as they advance in age, children may start hiding their anxiety. Nevertheless, it will still reflect in their actions.

You can help your child effectively deal with anxiety and stress through the following:

Schedule a ‘fun’ time.

Piles of homework can certainly drain your child energy and make them prone to anxiety and stress. Even sports activities can be physically and mentally stressful too. So make sure they have time to have some ‘pure fun’. You can organise fun yet relaxing activities, such as drawing, painting, a tea party, build a secret ‘Den’ or even play some games that don’t require too much competition.

Teach your child to become his own superhero.

It is very common for children to have fears, just as adults do. But the problem with many parents is that they tend to encourage their kids to avoid their fears, instead of facing them. But the more they hide from their fears, the more they will be hunted by it. So slowly, help your child become used to the things they fear the most. Normally, anxiety is reduced in 20-45 minutes of staying in the fear-provoking situation. If your child is suffering from intense fear or phobia, it is advisable to seek therapy as soon as possible.

Emphasise their good side.

Children with severe anxiety tend to focus on their negative side – their flaws, things they cannot do, etc. Negative thinking makes your child hate herself and other people. You can help your child become more positive by giving attention to their good side – talents, skills and strengths. Congratulate your child for scoring high in their test, maybe teach them some new skills, and surround them with positive people.

Make sure your child sleeps on time.

Lack of sleep has been found to make children more irritable and stressed. It is important that they get at least 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night. To promote quality sleep, set a bedtime schedule that must be strictly followed even during weekends.

Enhance their problem-solving skills.

Critical thinking must be developed at the earliest age possible. If you keep on solving even the little problems your child encounters, they will just learn to become dependent on you. Now, what if she faces a problem at school and you aren’t there? It will make your child more anxious and exhausted. Allowing your child to solve their own problems (with your guidance of course) will greatly benefit them, especially as they grow older.

Organise relaxation exercises.

Perhaps one of the best relaxation techniques can be taught to your child at night in the form of a bedtime story. At night as your child closes their eyes to sleep, you may ask your child to think or imagine a very relaxing place, such as a garden or a magical place, and have them imagine what that place looks like. Ask them to listen to the sounds in this place, to describe any smells or tastes. Ask them if it’s a hot, cold or warm place or is it just right.

Have them create their own story about this place and encourage them to go exploring this safe and magical place.

This technique engages with the child’s imagination and these techniques are very commonly used in hypnotherapy, a discipline which has been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety symptoms and relieve stress.

Be the role model.

You don’t expect your child to become free from stress and anxiety if you yourself are having similar issues! Children follow what their parents do. For them, anything you say or do is right. So be the role model of your own child. Positivity is contagious. If you are always positive, your child can easily acquire your personality through ‘transference’ without you having to do so much effort!

Never lose hope.

No matter how hard it is, never stop trying. Anxiety and stress can be very hard to overcome but it doesn’t mean your child wouldn’t be able to deal with them anymore. Just keep following these tips and discover a great difference.

Also, you may want to see a therapist to guide your child. A professional practitioner is equipped with the skills and knowledge to reduce anxiety and stress in children, just as they can effectively deal with adult issues.

I hope these tips help you to help your child back into a positively stress-free lifestyle. But remember, if you have any questions or would like to seek further help you can contact me through the methods below.

All the best,

 

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist at Grey Matterz
Part of the Core Health Centre.

http://www.greymatterz.co.uk

email: info@greymatterz.co.uk

Are we really in ‘The Matrix’?

February 16, 2013

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Being rational beings, it is our nature to make interpretations out of many thingssurrounding us, from the events that are happening, to the situations we’re into, and the emotions we feel. Sometimes, such interpretations are correct. Many times though, they’re wrong.

The way we interpret things around us may help us see the truth behind every event or situation we experience. Or, it could also distort the reality and make us believe negative things that have never existed at all!

There are many ways by which we distort reality. Here are some of them:

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Some people see things in extreme. This means a small, unnoticeable error in the project they are working on means it’s a complete trash; if someone doesn’t love them, it means that person already hates them; if they didn’t get it right the first time, they can never ever get it right no matter how they try. In short, they are the ‘all or nothing’ people. They often miss the reality that often, some things aren’t always one way or the other way around. They ignore that fact that there’s always ‘shades of grey’.

Conclusive Thinking

There are people who are fond of generalising things. Unknowingly, they are actually distorting the reality because they tend to look only at one angle of their life and make a conclusion out of it. For instance, if they fail in a business, their tendency is to stop and never try again – thinking that ‘once a failure, always a failure’.

Fortune-Telling

No one can ever predict what’s going to happen in the future as we can’t tell exactly what’s going to happen tomorrow or in the next few hours. Still, there are people who act as if they are fortune-tellers – predicting the future with strong conviction as if they were realities of the past. You’ll often hear them saying ‘I won’t ever make it’, ‘I will never find true love’, ‘I will be depressed for the rest of my life’, ‘I’ll never become rich’, etc.

Emotional Reasoning

Sometimes, our emotions can be deceiving because they often rule out our rational judgement. But basing on emotions alone is not enough to establish reality. For instance, a person who feels he is a failure doesn’t mean he is indeed a failure in reality. It is normal to experience emotional ups and downs. Assessing your emotions and their real cause is the key towards determining whether it speaks of reality or not.

Mind-Reading

Just because your friend ignored you the other day doesn’t mean she is mad at you or she doesn’t care about you anymore. Maybe, she just didn’t see that you were there, or she was thinking of something else that she didn’t notice your presence. Just because your spouse didn’t greet you a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t love you anymore. It’s possible that they’re into a surprise dinner date, or so caught up with problems at work. Being judgemental towards other people’s behaviour can certainly ruin one’s personal and social relationships.

Taking the Blame

Some people tend to distort reality by being too paranoid, thinking that every negative accusation, remark or criticism is directed towards them. This way of thinking can greatly affect your wellbeing and stress you out because you tend to feel guilty and responsible for things you haven’t done!

Mythical Thinking

Conventional views can ruin your judgement and distort the way you perceive reality. For instance, if you see a couple who don’t seem to mind each other – one is browsing on his mobile phone and the other is very absorbed in her reading, it’s easy to conclude that they not the ‘sweet type’ or they don’t care about each other. But that scene which only took few moments is not enough to interpret their relationship correctly. Above all, keeping in mind that your interpretation of things around you may be faulty or incomplete will prevent you from making hurtful and distressing judgments.

Positive Thinking to Restore Reality

All the ways mentioned above usually spring from negative thinking. They all can bring you pain, discomfort, and distress. When your mind is full of negative thoughts, you will never feel at peace.

To correct the habits that tend to distort your view of reality, you should learn how to think and respond positively. Opening your mind to possibilities without going away from the facts is healthy. But if you always make interpretations from a negative point of view, you are simply exposing yourself to things that will make you anxious, and later on, depressed.

If you need some help to change your own thoughts, contact me, I’ll be happy to help you.
Happy Thoughts,

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.greymatterz.co.uk
Part of the Core Health Centre
www.corehealthcentre.co.uk

Attachment Anxiety Can Make You Physically Sick

February 13, 2013

An interesting article on how Attachment Anxiety can lower the body’s power of immunity.
Have a read…

Anxiety help at grey matterz

Don’t let anxiety rule your life.

People who constantly need reassurance that they are loved, excessively worried about being rejected, and interpret ambiguous events in their relationships negatively are at risk of developing serious illnesses, a new research reveals.

Anxious individuals have lower immunity

In a study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers found that people who are always worried and anxious about their romantic relationships lower down their immunity levels, a fact that makes them more vulnerable to health diseases. For this study, psychologists from University’s Institute of Behavioural Medicine Research (IBMR) asked a number of married couples to complete a questionnaire about their relationship to assess whether they have attachment anxiety and in what way it affects their health. After taking the test, saliva and blood samples from the participants were taken to measure their stress levels. Most of the couples have been together for over 12 years.

Researchers found that participants who had higher attachment anxiety produced 11% more cortisol than those with lower levels of attachment anxiety. They also noticed fewer T cells among these participants. T cells are a group of white blood cells that play a major role in strengthening the body’s immunity. According to Lisa Jaremka, the study lead author and a postdoctoral fellow at the University, higher levels of cortisol is linked to fewer T cells because such hormone has immunosuppressive effect, which means it can inhibit the production of the immunity-boosting cells. In past studies, low number of T cells was found to impair a person’s immunity response to vaccine. It has also been linked to an ageing immune system.

What is attachment anxiety?

Everyone has a different way to secure the attachment that binds them with their special someone. Also called attachment style, it refers to a part of your personality that determines how you behave in close relationships. Two of the most common attachment styles are the avoidance attachment, and the attachment anxiety. The former is characterised by a person’s reluctance to trust and depend on his or her partner and the fear of intimacy. The second one springs from the intense need of assurance that he or she is loved, and the fear of being abandoned. Jaremka explains that attachment anxiety is a phenomenon related to childhood development. When guardians or parents are responsive of their children’s needs, especially in times of distress, these kids easily learn how to rely on people when they become adults. On the other hand, those who experienced rejection tend to develop self-insecurities that generally manifest during adulthood.

The good news is, according to Jaremka, there is research-based evidence that people with attachment anxiety can change. And hypnosis can be one of the most effective ways to effect change in those such people by training your mind to think differently.

If you have any questions about stress, anxiety or panic attacks or would simply like some more information about hypnosis, please visit my website at http://www.greymatterz.co.uk or send me an email to info@greymatterz.co.uk.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and answering your questions.

Richard Scott

Clinical Hypnotherapist at Grey Matterz Hypnotherapy
Based at the Core Health Centre

http://www.greymatterz.co.uk
http://www.corehealthcentre.co.uk