Posted tagged ‘grey matterz’

The Trick to Getting Things Done!

May 21, 2014

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Research shows that about 20 per cent of adults are chronic procrastinators. Despite all the proven benefits of being productive, many of us tend to put off until tomorrow what we need and even want to do today. Yet, what we don’t realise is that it’s undermining our happiness. It stresses us out and prevents us from reaching our goals in life. Studies suggest that procrastinators tend to be more stressed than people who don’t have this habit.

But why do we procrastinate? Despite knowing that they will probably be worse off after delaying their tasks, why do some people still procrastinate? Why would a married couple delay having a child? Why would a person not leave the job he hates? Why would others prefer to defer a difficult project and prioritise easier ones? It’s not that they are lazy or laid-back.

Research shows that procrastinators may actually dread failure. They may have a fear of success, an urge to be defiant, a perfectionist streak or a need to take risks. All these behaviours affect their ability to make decisions.

How about you? What triggers you to procrastinate? Check the following procrastination triggers and how you can address them.

Fear of failure

Fear of failure. We all have a bit of it. Who doesn’t want to fail? But if your fear of failure is so great that you no longer want to try new things anymore, procrastination becomes a big issue. Perhaps you hardly ever work out because you fear feeling so tired and worn out. Or you don’t apply for promotion because you fear getting rejected.

The next time you are faced with a difficult challenge, give yourself a chance to take the risk. Remember, getting something done is better than not doing anything at all. Who knows – it could take you to your dreams or unlock the door to new opportunities.

Cramming

Do you thrive on the excitement of scrambling to hit deadlines? Do you prefer staying awake for two consecutive nights just to finish off a report which you could have done earlier? The habit of cramming is one of the most common triggers of procrastination. You probably think there is plenty of time to do things so you just wait until you have very little time left.

If you think you’re at your best when under pressure, prove it. Do it hours before schedule, as you always do. Then, try doing the task ahead of time. You will most likely notice that your overall routine seems a little saner and that you have more free time on your hands when you knock stuff off early.

Additional Tips to Stop Procrastination

Start your day early.

Not only can you stretch your time by waking up early. But also, you get to enjoy quiet moments and have plenty of time reflecting and planning your daily routine. Starting your day early helps you concentrate on a few big tasks as soon as you get up and get a bunch of work done that would have taken many more hours during the bustle of the day.

Go to sleep early.

You can’t wake up early if you don’t go to sleep early. You need to recharge your batteries to sustain your daily activities. Exhaustion is definitely a motivator to keep procrastinating.

Don’t overwhelm yourself. Take easy on your to-do list.

Accomplishing tasks, no matter how small, gives you a higher sense of accomplishment – which in turn boosts your motivation to handle bigger tasks. Try starting with smaller tasks and reserve more of your energy on more difficult activities.

Think of an ominous task.

Think of something you really don’t want to do (.e.g. clean the attic, wash the dishes, or do the laundry). Soon you’ll find yourself doing what you really need to do because it’s better than the dreaded chore. You will also realise that even though some activities could be mundane, they are not really as bad as those chores you hate.

Set up daily reminders.

Whether it’s every 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or one hour – set up a reminder that you should be working on something and not wasting your time. You can also set up reminders that give you motivational quotes.

Make yourself accountable.

Give yourself the full responsibility of every task you handle. This ways, you are motivating yourself to push harder and give it your best. Consider announcing your change publicly. Be vocal about it. Hit the social networks, blog, write letters, and do whatever it takes to make yourself more accountable to getting work done.

Become mindful

Be aware of what you are doing. Don’t get mindlessly stuck on social networks and leisure activities that distract you and prevent you from getting more work done. And don’t forget to give yourself some quiet time. We are constantly plugged in to our digital world. It can be overwhelming and stressful. Give yourself at least 15 minutes of quiet every day to refocus and be with yourself.

Let me know which tricks work best for you,

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
http://www.greymatterz.co.uk

facebook.com/greymatterzhypnotherapy

Twitter: @RichGreymatterz

15 things that ruin your sex drive.

June 12, 2013

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For many people, sex drive is like a roller coaster ride. One second you’re up, another second you’re down. Well, there are plenty of factors that affect our sexual desire. Here is a compilation of the most common things that could ruin your sex life.

Relationship Issues

Among the top sex drive killers is relationship problems. Of course, no partner would be in the ‘mood’ when he or she is mad at the other. Reaching out with your partner and tackling issues as they arrive is critical for a happy, romantic relationship. Try not to let the night pass without resolving conflicts between you and your partner.

Poor Sleep

Anything that messes with a good night sleep also messes with sex. Sleep deprivation leads to poor energy, fatigue and stress. And when you are experiencing all these things, the last thing that would probably enter your mind is sex. Check with your doctor if you have sleeping disorders such as insomnia or sleep apnoea. Having a regular bedtime schedule, exercising, proper diet, and trying aromatherapy or self-hypnosis all help in promoting good sleep.

Medication

There are drugs that could reduce a person’s sex drive. They include blood pressure medications, chemotherapy and anti-HIV drugs, birth control pills, and antidepressants. Switching drugs or doses may help tackle this issue but it is always recommended to consult your doctor first.

Obesity

There are plenty of reasons why obesity could lead to low sex drive. It may be because it hinders a person from performing well in bed or it reduces self-esteem. Obese people tend to have poorer stamina which some see as being very important for satisfying sex.

Low Testosterone

In men, the T hormone fuels sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels drop a bit. However, this does not always lead to reduced libido. But low testosterone could cause undesirable symptoms such as erectile dysfunction which slashes a man’s confidence to have sex.

Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims as they reach the menopausal stage. This is probably because of the symptoms that plague them, such as mood swings, vaginal dryness, and sex during pain. But then again, there are women whose sex lives are still thriving even during menopause. Most of the time, they are the ones who give high importance to their health.

Lack of Intimacy

There are couples who you wouldn’t notice that they are couples until they tell you. Lack of closeness and communication does not just spoil sex desire but could also trigger other conflicts that may lead to breakup or separation. If lack of closeness is your issue, try to find ways to express love without involving sex. Maybe you can travel together, talk about different things, snuggle, play a sport together, etc. When closeness is there, a satisfying sex comes next.

Depression

Being depressed can make a person feel disinterested on many things in life, including sex. It is important to seek appropriate therapy right away, hypnotherapy has been very successful in helping sufferers overcome depression. Just like lack of intimacy, depression does not just impact a couple’s sex life but everything else in their relationship.

Erectile Problems

Men suffering from erectile dysfunction often worry about how they will perform in bed so they choose not to have sex at all. But most of the time, this problem is treatable. There are plenty of treatments that can keep this problem from affecting a relationship.

Poor Body Image

Poor self image affects a woman or a man’s desire for sex as it takes away their confidence. Work on accepting your body as it is today even if you are in the process of improving your physical shape or appearance. Feeling good about yourself is a big factor that puts you in the mood for sex.

Having Kids

This does not directly affect a couple’s sex life of course but having less time together could. Consider hiring a babysitter once in awhile so you can have some intimate time with your spouse. Or, schedule ‘loving’ time when kids are in school or when the lights are out already.

Alcohol

Don’t think that alcohol can definitely turn you on. In most cases, when taken in excess, it does nothing but numb your sex drive. Perhaps you have a small shot of wine every night as part of a balanced health regime, but any more than the recommended alcohol intake is not going to help.

Stress

Who doesn’t get stressed? We all have our own stressors to face. Learning how to handle them is the trick. Don’t forget to give yourself a little ‘me’ time to relax and engage in enjoyable activities. When you are not stressed, you are more likely to be eager for sex.

Boredom

Doing the same thing over and over again leads to boredom and lack of desire to have sex. Maybe it’s time to be adventurous and try something different. Just make sure to gain consensus. Both of you should love what you are doing. Otherwise, it aggravates the problem.

Poor Health

Your body and your mind are connected. When you are healthy, you are more likely to experience positive mood on a regular basis (which helps turn your sexual drive on). If you’re ill, sex may not be a good option. Thus, making sure you and your partner are healthy is critical to a satisfying romantic life. Eating properly, exercising, not smoking, and getting quality sleep are some of the most essential lifestyle habits you should follow. 

As always I welcome your comments,

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapistwww.greymatterz.co.uk

Part of the Core Health Centre

10 things you might not know about STRESS and ANXIETY

May 31, 2013

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Stress and anxiety are among the most common issues confronted by the society today. Knowing their causes and how they impact your life is a great way to protect your mental and emotional health.

Below are ten interesting facts about stress and anxiety that will increase your understanding of these two potentially debilitating issues.

Stress and anxiety are not the same.

You may often come across with articles using the words ‘stress’ and ‘anxiety’ almost interchangeably. However, they are not the same. Stress is your body’s response to a change in the environment, whether positive or negative. You can experience stress even in situations that you are happy about, just like starting a new job. Anxiety, on the other hand, refers to an emotion that is characterised by a feeling of fear, apprehension or nervousness.

Anxiety has an essential role to play.

Feeling anxious may not feel enjoyable. However, it is a natural response critical to human survival. Anxiety can give you the level of alertness and focus you need during difficult situations.

Chronic stress may lead to depression.

Chronic stress increases the risk of major depressive disorder – an intense form of depression that lasts for a long period of time and often prevents a person from living a normal life. So if you think you are chronically stressed, speak to me or any other professional therapist right away.

Causes of stress are NOT the same for everyone.

People deal with different stressors. But a situation or event that may be stressful for someone else may not necessarily be stressful for another. For example, the thought of getting on stage and speaking in front of hundreds of people may be a source of stress for other people but not for you, or vice versa.

Weight loss could be a sign of stress.

Whilst eating problems could be a symptom of chronic stress, it is not limited to the loss of appetite. In some cases, individuals who are too stressed tend to overeat which leads to weight gain. Other indicators of too much stress are lack of energy, use of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs, and conflict in relationships.

Irritability is a sign of too much stress.

Stress can affect your overall well-being. Aside from being easily annoyed and irritable, other warning signs for too much stress are having short temper, being moody, and having problems concentrating.

Mixed anxiety is very common in Britain.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, mixed anxiety and depression are the most common mental disorders in Britain, with almost 9 per cent of people meeting the criteria for diagnosis. In the Office for National Statistics Psychiatric Morbidity 2012 report, it was reported that between 8 to 12 per cent of the population experience depression in any year.

Anxiety disorder is more common in women.

Women are twice more likely to experience generalised anxiety disorder than men. This mental illness is characterised by persistent excessive, unrealistic worry over everyday problems that goes on for six months or more.

Chronic stress and anxiety disorder are treatable.

Anxiety disorder can be treated using medication or psychotherapy. The latter is usually chosen by many sufferers because it targets the root cause of the problem, and does not only mask the symptoms. Medications may provide temporary relief but it does not break the cycle of anxiety or stress. These drugs may also come with side effects.

Undergoing therapy is necessary.

About 70 to 90 per cent of people with mental illness experience significant improvement in their quality of life after receiving appropriate treatment and support. Hypnotherapy in my own experience has proven to be an extremely effective form of treatment for stress, anxiety and depressive disorders.

Some of my clients who have suffered from depression for decades or more have used the powerful hypnotic techniques that I have shown them in order to break the negative thought patterns and have seen life-changing transformations from as few as 3 sessions.

The relief for chronic stress and anxiety disorder is not the same for everyone. However, making positive lifestyle changes is the key to protecting your health from the debilitating effects of these two mental illnesses.

You can start by creating a healthy eating plan, giving more emphasis on nutritious foods, and making some form of exercise a daily habit. Then, incorporate fun activities into your life to refresh your mind and keep you going amidst all the stressors around you!

As always, I welcome your comments.

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist
http://www.greymatterz.co.uk
Part of the Core Health Centre

Useful tips to beat your daily stress

May 16, 2013

ImageIt’s true that stress is always present in our life. It’s there everywhere we look, everywhere we go, and in everything we do. Even sleeping and doing nothing can become stressful at times. But stress doesn’t have to dismantle our life and prevent us from being happy and healthy. With the following easy techniques, you can cope with stress effectively and live life to the fullest!

Stretch it out.

Headache, fatigue, stiff neck, and cramps are all signs of stress. Chronic stress makes our muscles so tensed that they get swollen and become painful over time. This leads to undesirable symptoms, including pain. Stress also undermines blood circulation, which in turn makes your body more vulnerable to disease. Stretching out is a very convenient way to ease stress when you’re in the middle of a paperwork. Getting familiar with basic stretching techniques can significantly improve your blood flow, relax your tensed muscles and give you great relief.

Breathe, breathe, and breathe!

Before you open your mouth and say harsh words to someone, pause for a minute and take a deep gentle breath. It might be your usual reaction to take small, shallow breaths. But this can just aggravate your anxiety and make you feel more stressed. Take slow, deep breaths when you’re highly anxious. This calms your sympathetic nervous system and promotes relaxation.

Laugh out loud.

Feeling stressed with your work or family responsibilities? It’s time to have a good laugh. Just as the old saying goes – laughter is the best medicine. Watch a funny movie, invite over some friends and talk about silly things, or read a comic book. Cracking up promotes blood circulation and increases oxygen flow to your organs – two mechanisms that relieve your body from stress. In fact, just the anticipation of laughter can already pull down your stress levels.

State a positive mantra.

Don’t underestimate the power of positive suggestion. Find a phrase that gives you a sense of relief and motivation. For example, when confronted with a stressful situation, say “All is well”, or “This too, shall pass”. When you feel irritated on your spouse, child or parent, just tell yourself “He/she may have done something wrong but that doesn’t make him/her a bad person.”

Divert your attention.

Can’t think of a nice way to start your report? Have a break and do something that uplifts your spirit. Maybe you can take a walk outside, read a book, do some gardening stuff, or draw your dream house – anything that will distract you from succumbing to stress.

Cite five things you are thankful of.

Feeling down? Close your eyes, place your hands over your chest, take five deep breaths, and cite five things in your life that you are so thankful of. Slowly open your eyes and become completely refreshed!

Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

Remember the law of attraction? Whatever you pay attention to grows. So if you pay attention to negative emotions, thoughts and feelings, they only get bigger and worse. But if you focus more on positivity, the whole universe conspires to help you become happier.

Focus on the present.

Whilst planning for the future is a good habit, when you’re stressed out it can become extremely overwhelming. Get in tune with your senses. Acknowledge what you feel – good or bad. Be aware of what’s happening deep inside you. Feel the ground beneath your feet, listen to your heartbeat, and feel the wind as it touches your skin. You can surely free yourself from stress by focusing on the now.

Stroke your pet.

When you spend even just a few minutes playing with your dog, or cat, your body releases feel-good hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin.  These hormones counter the damaging effects of stress and lower blood pressure and anxiety, and boost immunity.

Drink orange juice.

Vitamin C is effective in lowering your stress hormone levels, particularly cortisol. Apart from orange juice, you can also get vitamin C from grapefruit juice, strawberries, cabbage, and other green leafy vegetables. There’s actually more vitamin C to be found in in kale or red pepper than in an orange, Land these two are less acidic or sugary too.

Wishing you a stress free day.

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
http://www.greymatterz.co.uk

Part of the Core Health Centre

Is your child suffering from Stress & Anxiety?

February 27, 2013

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Children experience various forms of anxiety and stress from the moment they are born?

Sometimes, it is easy to spot whether a child is anxious by their crying and clinging behaviour. But as they advance in age, children may start hiding their anxiety. Nevertheless, it will still reflect in their actions.

You can help your child effectively deal with anxiety and stress through the following:

Schedule a ‘fun’ time.

Piles of homework can certainly drain your child energy and make them prone to anxiety and stress. Even sports activities can be physically and mentally stressful too. So make sure they have time to have some ‘pure fun’. You can organise fun yet relaxing activities, such as drawing, painting, a tea party, build a secret ‘Den’ or even play some games that don’t require too much competition.

Teach your child to become his own superhero.

It is very common for children to have fears, just as adults do. But the problem with many parents is that they tend to encourage their kids to avoid their fears, instead of facing them. But the more they hide from their fears, the more they will be hunted by it. So slowly, help your child become used to the things they fear the most. Normally, anxiety is reduced in 20-45 minutes of staying in the fear-provoking situation. If your child is suffering from intense fear or phobia, it is advisable to seek therapy as soon as possible.

Emphasise their good side.

Children with severe anxiety tend to focus on their negative side – their flaws, things they cannot do, etc. Negative thinking makes your child hate herself and other people. You can help your child become more positive by giving attention to their good side – talents, skills and strengths. Congratulate your child for scoring high in their test, maybe teach them some new skills, and surround them with positive people.

Make sure your child sleeps on time.

Lack of sleep has been found to make children more irritable and stressed. It is important that they get at least 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night. To promote quality sleep, set a bedtime schedule that must be strictly followed even during weekends.

Enhance their problem-solving skills.

Critical thinking must be developed at the earliest age possible. If you keep on solving even the little problems your child encounters, they will just learn to become dependent on you. Now, what if she faces a problem at school and you aren’t there? It will make your child more anxious and exhausted. Allowing your child to solve their own problems (with your guidance of course) will greatly benefit them, especially as they grow older.

Organise relaxation exercises.

Perhaps one of the best relaxation techniques can be taught to your child at night in the form of a bedtime story. At night as your child closes their eyes to sleep, you may ask your child to think or imagine a very relaxing place, such as a garden or a magical place, and have them imagine what that place looks like. Ask them to listen to the sounds in this place, to describe any smells or tastes. Ask them if it’s a hot, cold or warm place or is it just right.

Have them create their own story about this place and encourage them to go exploring this safe and magical place.

This technique engages with the child’s imagination and these techniques are very commonly used in hypnotherapy, a discipline which has been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety symptoms and relieve stress.

Be the role model.

You don’t expect your child to become free from stress and anxiety if you yourself are having similar issues! Children follow what their parents do. For them, anything you say or do is right. So be the role model of your own child. Positivity is contagious. If you are always positive, your child can easily acquire your personality through ‘transference’ without you having to do so much effort!

Never lose hope.

No matter how hard it is, never stop trying. Anxiety and stress can be very hard to overcome but it doesn’t mean your child wouldn’t be able to deal with them anymore. Just keep following these tips and discover a great difference.

Also, you may want to see a therapist to guide your child. A professional practitioner is equipped with the skills and knowledge to reduce anxiety and stress in children, just as they can effectively deal with adult issues.

I hope these tips help you to help your child back into a positively stress-free lifestyle. But remember, if you have any questions or would like to seek further help you can contact me through the methods below.

All the best,

 

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist at Grey Matterz
Part of the Core Health Centre.

http://www.greymatterz.co.uk

email: info@greymatterz.co.uk