Posted tagged ‘esteem’

7 ways to boost Self Esteem

February 25, 2014


It can be really difficult to try lifting your self-esteem up during bad times – when you’re dealing with a disability, when you’re having a difficult time getting along with someone you care about, when you are being pushed to your limits at work, when you’re going through financial difficulties, and so on.

In times like these, all you can think to do is blame yourself for not being likeable, for not doing good enough, and for always failing.

You may even think of hurting yourself and giving up completely.

But in order to get through life’s adversities, self-esteem is of prime importance.

Below is a list of things you can do to raise your self-esteem.

You may notice that that along the way, your inner critical self will start to build resistance to prevent you from feeling better. But that’s okay.

Just carry on with your best efforts. Over time, you will find yourself feeling a lot better and more than capable of facing life’s challenges.

Treat yourself well.
Make it your daily goal to treat yourself well.

Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest and sleep.

Avoid habits that could be detrimental to your health like smoking, excessive alcohol drinking, and negative thinking.

Talk to yourself in a polite way.
During tough times you might get caught up with the critical voices inside you saying “you are no better”, “you are a loser”, “you won’t ever get it right”, and so on.

Try not to get carried away with them. Instead, tell yourself “you can do this”, “you are smart”, and “you are capable of succeeding”.

Intentionally replace the negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Spend time with friends and family.
Spend more time with people who treat you well and have genuine concern and care for you. Their support is vital to your self-esteem.

Avoid negative, difficult people who see nothing in you but your flaws. You don’t need them at this point in your life.

Start small.
Studies suggest that the small achievements we have can significantly boost our well-being and self-esteem.

As you look for the bigger outcome, be thankful of the little goals you have accomplished.

They will give you the confidence you need to survive a difficult challenge.

Forgive yourself.
If you didn’t make it this time, it’s okay. Don’t punish yourself for failing.

Don’t be too tough on yourself. Remember that mistakes are part of a successful journey as they give you an opportunity to expand your learning.

Forgiving yourself is a great way to raise your self-esteem rather than indulging in self-pity.

Don’t compare.
Comparing your life with that of other people and finding out that they excel in one area of life can further crash your self-esteem.

Comparing does not only make you feel unhappy. It is also unfair for that person, as you don’t know what they have gone through.

You are only seeing one aspect of their life. Instead of focusing on the success of others, you should try being better than you were yesterday.

Also, learn to accept yourself, including your limitations and weaknesses.

While there are things you can change, you also have to realise that there are things that you cannot change.

Loving yourself just the way you are is better you than hating yourself.

Do things you enjoy.
Don’t forget to give yourself a little downtime. You have been dealing with a lot of things in the past days, weeks or months.

You deserve to have a break. Do things that cheer you up, whether it’s baking, cooking, writing poems, sketching, or dancing.

Once you have restored, if not improved your self-esteem, you will find yourself effectively dealing with difficult situations you encounter in life.

I look forward to hearing your feedback,  let me know how successful these techniques were for you,  or please forward them onto to someone you may know that needs them.

Richard Scott
Clinical hypnotherapist


How’s your Self Esteem lately?

August 12, 2013


Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to refer to a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her worth. There’s a big deal of scientific evidence proposing that lack of self-esteem could lead to depression, problems in relationships, and reduced sense of happiness.

But contrary to what the term implies, it appears that many people seek ‘esteem’ not from their inner selves, but from others.

The ‘Other’ Esteem

Often, our feelings and thoughts about ourselves are affected by our daily experiences – the ups and downs in our romantic relationship, challenges at work or in school, how other people treat us, and the achievements and failures we experience. All these have an impact to how we feel about ourselves, at least temporarily.

The term self-esteem indicates that ‘esteem’ is something that comes from within us. It appears however, that many of us derive their evaluation of ‘self-worth’ from other people or from the things that lie outside of them.

For example, a student feels good about himself only after getting a good grade whilst a professional would feel the same once he gets promoted in his job or received a salary increase. All these suggest that what we really thought to be ‘self-esteem’ has become more like of an ‘other-esteem’.

There’s really nothing wrong with feeling good after being praised or appreciated by others or having achieved something. It is a natural mental response. But relying on external factors to boost our self-esteem could undermine our sense of self-worth.

Some people do everything to please others, even if they are no longer happy or comfortable with what they are doing. That is, they become subordinated to other people’s considerations.

Other-esteem is potentially dangerous because here, we depend on others to measure our self-worth. This greatly reduces our happiness and takes a toll on our health and social relationships.

If we rely on others to keep our esteem at a good level, we become vulnerable to the bitter consequences of rejection. If we seek it from others but those people didn’t approve it, we feel we are rejected. This leads to self-hatred and ultimately, depression.

Sure we can’t control what others would say about us. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. But to make those opinions the predictor of your self-worth is not right. That’s why it’s called ‘self-esteem’ because it is something that comes from within us. It is something we generate on our own through careful evaluation of ourselves – our strengths and weaknesses.

Developing Real Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is something that should be developed at a very young age because this is the stage wherein individuals begin to form values that last through adulthood. Yet, many parents think that to boost their child’s self-esteem, they had to constantly remind them how good they are, how beautiful or strong they are, and the like.

But this strategy makes their children dependent on success to find self-esteem. So when they fail, they would feel bad about themselves. Performance, achievements and success serve as the icing that adds beauty to a cake.

But the cake itself is the foundation that should be given more attention. It represents a person’s relationship with his or her inner self.

One way to boost our self-esteem to is understand and accept our vulnerability. Who hasn’t felt insecure sometimes? Who hasn’t been afraid? Who hasn’t doubted themselves even once in their lifetime? The key to strengthening our self-esteem is to embrace our vulnerability. This way, we could free ourselves from having other people define our self-worth.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, bokk a FREE consultation with me and I’ll let you know how you can I can help you to boost that self-esteem rapidly and effectively.

Do let me know your thoughts by commenting below.

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist

Part of the Core Health Centre