Posted tagged ‘depression’

15 things that ruin your sex drive.

June 12, 2013


For many people, sex drive is like a roller coaster ride. One second you’re up, another second you’re down. Well, there are plenty of factors that affect our sexual desire. Here is a compilation of the most common things that could ruin your sex life.

Relationship Issues

Among the top sex drive killers is relationship problems. Of course, no partner would be in the ‘mood’ when he or she is mad at the other. Reaching out with your partner and tackling issues as they arrive is critical for a happy, romantic relationship. Try not to let the night pass without resolving conflicts between you and your partner.

Poor Sleep

Anything that messes with a good night sleep also messes with sex. Sleep deprivation leads to poor energy, fatigue and stress. And when you are experiencing all these things, the last thing that would probably enter your mind is sex. Check with your doctor if you have sleeping disorders such as insomnia or sleep apnoea. Having a regular bedtime schedule, exercising, proper diet, and trying aromatherapy or self-hypnosis all help in promoting good sleep.


There are drugs that could reduce a person’s sex drive. They include blood pressure medications, chemotherapy and anti-HIV drugs, birth control pills, and antidepressants. Switching drugs or doses may help tackle this issue but it is always recommended to consult your doctor first.


There are plenty of reasons why obesity could lead to low sex drive. It may be because it hinders a person from performing well in bed or it reduces self-esteem. Obese people tend to have poorer stamina which some see as being very important for satisfying sex.

Low Testosterone

In men, the T hormone fuels sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels drop a bit. However, this does not always lead to reduced libido. But low testosterone could cause undesirable symptoms such as erectile dysfunction which slashes a man’s confidence to have sex.


For many women, sex drive dims as they reach the menopausal stage. This is probably because of the symptoms that plague them, such as mood swings, vaginal dryness, and sex during pain. But then again, there are women whose sex lives are still thriving even during menopause. Most of the time, they are the ones who give high importance to their health.

Lack of Intimacy

There are couples who you wouldn’t notice that they are couples until they tell you. Lack of closeness and communication does not just spoil sex desire but could also trigger other conflicts that may lead to breakup or separation. If lack of closeness is your issue, try to find ways to express love without involving sex. Maybe you can travel together, talk about different things, snuggle, play a sport together, etc. When closeness is there, a satisfying sex comes next.


Being depressed can make a person feel disinterested on many things in life, including sex. It is important to seek appropriate therapy right away, hypnotherapy has been very successful in helping sufferers overcome depression. Just like lack of intimacy, depression does not just impact a couple’s sex life but everything else in their relationship.

Erectile Problems

Men suffering from erectile dysfunction often worry about how they will perform in bed so they choose not to have sex at all. But most of the time, this problem is treatable. There are plenty of treatments that can keep this problem from affecting a relationship.

Poor Body Image

Poor self image affects a woman or a man’s desire for sex as it takes away their confidence. Work on accepting your body as it is today even if you are in the process of improving your physical shape or appearance. Feeling good about yourself is a big factor that puts you in the mood for sex.

Having Kids

This does not directly affect a couple’s sex life of course but having less time together could. Consider hiring a babysitter once in awhile so you can have some intimate time with your spouse. Or, schedule ‘loving’ time when kids are in school or when the lights are out already.


Don’t think that alcohol can definitely turn you on. In most cases, when taken in excess, it does nothing but numb your sex drive. Perhaps you have a small shot of wine every night as part of a balanced health regime, but any more than the recommended alcohol intake is not going to help.


Who doesn’t get stressed? We all have our own stressors to face. Learning how to handle them is the trick. Don’t forget to give yourself a little ‘me’ time to relax and engage in enjoyable activities. When you are not stressed, you are more likely to be eager for sex.


Doing the same thing over and over again leads to boredom and lack of desire to have sex. Maybe it’s time to be adventurous and try something different. Just make sure to gain consensus. Both of you should love what you are doing. Otherwise, it aggravates the problem.

Poor Health

Your body and your mind are connected. When you are healthy, you are more likely to experience positive mood on a regular basis (which helps turn your sexual drive on). If you’re ill, sex may not be a good option. Thus, making sure you and your partner are healthy is critical to a satisfying romantic life. Eating properly, exercising, not smoking, and getting quality sleep are some of the most essential lifestyle habits you should follow. 

As always I welcome your comments,

Richard Scott

Part of the Core Health Centre


10 things you might not know about STRESS and ANXIETY

May 31, 2013


Stress and anxiety are among the most common issues confronted by the society today. Knowing their causes and how they impact your life is a great way to protect your mental and emotional health.

Below are ten interesting facts about stress and anxiety that will increase your understanding of these two potentially debilitating issues.

Stress and anxiety are not the same.

You may often come across with articles using the words ‘stress’ and ‘anxiety’ almost interchangeably. However, they are not the same. Stress is your body’s response to a change in the environment, whether positive or negative. You can experience stress even in situations that you are happy about, just like starting a new job. Anxiety, on the other hand, refers to an emotion that is characterised by a feeling of fear, apprehension or nervousness.

Anxiety has an essential role to play.

Feeling anxious may not feel enjoyable. However, it is a natural response critical to human survival. Anxiety can give you the level of alertness and focus you need during difficult situations.

Chronic stress may lead to depression.

Chronic stress increases the risk of major depressive disorder – an intense form of depression that lasts for a long period of time and often prevents a person from living a normal life. So if you think you are chronically stressed, speak to me or any other professional therapist right away.

Causes of stress are NOT the same for everyone.

People deal with different stressors. But a situation or event that may be stressful for someone else may not necessarily be stressful for another. For example, the thought of getting on stage and speaking in front of hundreds of people may be a source of stress for other people but not for you, or vice versa.

Weight loss could be a sign of stress.

Whilst eating problems could be a symptom of chronic stress, it is not limited to the loss of appetite. In some cases, individuals who are too stressed tend to overeat which leads to weight gain. Other indicators of too much stress are lack of energy, use of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs, and conflict in relationships.

Irritability is a sign of too much stress.

Stress can affect your overall well-being. Aside from being easily annoyed and irritable, other warning signs for too much stress are having short temper, being moody, and having problems concentrating.

Mixed anxiety is very common in Britain.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, mixed anxiety and depression are the most common mental disorders in Britain, with almost 9 per cent of people meeting the criteria for diagnosis. In the Office for National Statistics Psychiatric Morbidity 2012 report, it was reported that between 8 to 12 per cent of the population experience depression in any year.

Anxiety disorder is more common in women.

Women are twice more likely to experience generalised anxiety disorder than men. This mental illness is characterised by persistent excessive, unrealistic worry over everyday problems that goes on for six months or more.

Chronic stress and anxiety disorder are treatable.

Anxiety disorder can be treated using medication or psychotherapy. The latter is usually chosen by many sufferers because it targets the root cause of the problem, and does not only mask the symptoms. Medications may provide temporary relief but it does not break the cycle of anxiety or stress. These drugs may also come with side effects.

Undergoing therapy is necessary.

About 70 to 90 per cent of people with mental illness experience significant improvement in their quality of life after receiving appropriate treatment and support. Hypnotherapy in my own experience has proven to be an extremely effective form of treatment for stress, anxiety and depressive disorders.

Some of my clients who have suffered from depression for decades or more have used the powerful hypnotic techniques that I have shown them in order to break the negative thought patterns and have seen life-changing transformations from as few as 3 sessions.

The relief for chronic stress and anxiety disorder is not the same for everyone. However, making positive lifestyle changes is the key to protecting your health from the debilitating effects of these two mental illnesses.

You can start by creating a healthy eating plan, giving more emphasis on nutritious foods, and making some form of exercise a daily habit. Then, incorporate fun activities into your life to refresh your mind and keep you going amidst all the stressors around you!

As always, I welcome your comments.

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist
Part of the Core Health Centre

Attachment Anxiety Can Make You Physically Sick

February 13, 2013

An interesting article on how Attachment Anxiety can lower the body’s power of immunity.
Have a read…

Anxiety help at grey matterz

Don’t let anxiety rule your life.

People who constantly need reassurance that they are loved, excessively worried about being rejected, and interpret ambiguous events in their relationships negatively are at risk of developing serious illnesses, a new research reveals.

Anxious individuals have lower immunity

In a study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers found that people who are always worried and anxious about their romantic relationships lower down their immunity levels, a fact that makes them more vulnerable to health diseases. For this study, psychologists from University’s Institute of Behavioural Medicine Research (IBMR) asked a number of married couples to complete a questionnaire about their relationship to assess whether they have attachment anxiety and in what way it affects their health. After taking the test, saliva and blood samples from the participants were taken to measure their stress levels. Most of the couples have been together for over 12 years.

Researchers found that participants who had higher attachment anxiety produced 11% more cortisol than those with lower levels of attachment anxiety. They also noticed fewer T cells among these participants. T cells are a group of white blood cells that play a major role in strengthening the body’s immunity. According to Lisa Jaremka, the study lead author and a postdoctoral fellow at the University, higher levels of cortisol is linked to fewer T cells because such hormone has immunosuppressive effect, which means it can inhibit the production of the immunity-boosting cells. In past studies, low number of T cells was found to impair a person’s immunity response to vaccine. It has also been linked to an ageing immune system.

What is attachment anxiety?

Everyone has a different way to secure the attachment that binds them with their special someone. Also called attachment style, it refers to a part of your personality that determines how you behave in close relationships. Two of the most common attachment styles are the avoidance attachment, and the attachment anxiety. The former is characterised by a person’s reluctance to trust and depend on his or her partner and the fear of intimacy. The second one springs from the intense need of assurance that he or she is loved, and the fear of being abandoned. Jaremka explains that attachment anxiety is a phenomenon related to childhood development. When guardians or parents are responsive of their children’s needs, especially in times of distress, these kids easily learn how to rely on people when they become adults. On the other hand, those who experienced rejection tend to develop self-insecurities that generally manifest during adulthood.

The good news is, according to Jaremka, there is research-based evidence that people with attachment anxiety can change. And hypnosis can be one of the most effective ways to effect change in those such people by training your mind to think differently.

If you have any questions about stress, anxiety or panic attacks or would simply like some more information about hypnosis, please visit my website at or send me an email to

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and answering your questions.

Richard Scott

Clinical Hypnotherapist at Grey Matterz Hypnotherapy
Based at the Core Health Centre