28 Ways to Boost your Stress
People are running around these days in what seems like an effort to carry around as much stress as humanly possible.
With this in mind I thought I’d hand out some time saving tips for those wanting to stress out even more.
Have a read and see if it’s possible to hold onto any more stress than you already do…
• Be sure to expect much more than is possible.
•Demand perfection from everyone and everything around you.
• Be as miserable as possible when things go wrong.
• Worry about anything and everything…especially those things over which you have no control.
• Become inflexible. Demand that everyone do things your way.
• Don’t listen to other opinions or ideas. Dismiss them as irrelevant.
• Try to do twice as much as you can actually accomplish.
• Multi-task your multi-tasking. Fill your schedule and then try to fit in more things.
• Try to treat every matter as the most important thing in the world.
•Every minor thing should heighten your anger level.
•Completely abandon your sense of humour.
•Take things personally. Don’t wait for things to bother you.
• Go out and look for things that will annoy you and let them get under your skin.
• Any mistake or problem should be taken as a personal insult.
• Be cynical about the world.
Look for events and situations that back up your view.
Ignore any good news.
• Be pessimistic about other people’s motives.
• Be suspicious of everyone.
• Watch television, especially reality shows.
• Turn the volume up during commercials.
• Eat lots of junk food and drink soda.
• Abandon your ability to change and adapt to the world around you.
• Be rigid in your body and mind.
• Don’t allow anything to disturb your misery.
• Hold your breath, don’t exercise.
• Tighten your shoulder muscles and slouch.
• Frown, scowl and be sure to crease the lines your forehead.
Please consult your personal physician before undertaking any stress-increasing activities.
Failure to follow these guidelines can result in occasional bouts of peace, harmony, relaxati0n and a clear head.
You should be catching my drift by now… I hope.